I Want "Full Custody" of my Children

Many clients tell me that they want to have "full custody", but under Missouri law, there is no such thing. There are two types of custody-Legal and Physical. Legal custody deals with the ability to make decisions on behalf of the child. Physical custody deals where the child lives. Both types of custody can be either "sole" or "joint".

Joint legal custody means that before a major decision is made regarding the child, the parents consult with one another and try to reach a mutual decision. If a mutual decision is not reached, one parent is usually given the final decision making authority. Sole legal custody means that one parent has the authority to make the decision, but must still inform the other parent of that decision.

In a Joint physical custody arrangement, both parents have significant parenting time with the child, but that time is seldom equal time. One parent is named the residential parent for educational and mailing purposes. A Sole physical custody arrangement is given to a parent who usually has more time with the child than the other parent. The other parent, though, will be given visitation at specific times spelled out in the court papers. The visitation could be substantial, or limited depending upon the best interests of the child.

There is a presumption in Missouri law that that the parents should have joint legal and joint custody of the child.

Guardian Ad Litem-Advocating for the Best Interest of the Child

In adoptions, custody cases, and juvenile cases, the children are in need of a strong advocate to make sure that their best interests are served. Many times I represent parents in these cases, but I frequently am appointed by the Court to represent the children as Guardian Ad Litem (GAL).

The role of the guardian ad litem is to advocate for the child's best interest. To do this, I thoroughly investigate the child's situation. I meet with the child, the child's parents, and others who know the child well. I may review school records, interview teachers, and talk to counselors if appropriate. I also review reports submitted by various professionals that interact with the child.

Once I have a good handle on the child's situation, I usually will make recommendations as to how to resolve the case in a way that will be best for the child. Often it's difficult to get other parties involved to put aside their own interests to reach a settlement, but a vast majority of cases are resolved without a trial.

If we are unable to resolve the case prior to trial, I then make sure the judge has all the information necessary to make a good decision. I may also make recommendations to the Court after the trial.

The children often suffer the most when their parents are in Court, but as GAL, I do all I can to help ease the burden and make it easier for each of them as they move forward after the court process is over.

Guardianship: Another Permanency Option

A guardianship is legal status established by the Court that allows one person to step in and make decisions on behalf of another. A guardianship can be established for an incapacitated adult or a minor child. Guardianships are another tool used to provide children with permanent, stable family when their natural parents are unable, unfit, or unwilling to provide the necessary care.

A guardianship differs in one key way from an adoption in that the natural parents do not lose their parental rights. This means that if the reasons the parent was unable to care for the child no longer exist, the parent could, upon approval by the Court, resume the care and custody of the child. Otherwise the guardianship lasts until the child turns 18.

Guardianships are often given to grandparents and other family members who are willing to step in to fill the void left by the natural parents. This allows the needs of the child to be met, and fosters involvement by the natural parents where appropriate.

Adoption Provides Hope

Every day I see families being torn apart by separation, divorce, addictions, and abuse. Children suffer long term effects from these situations. I see my job as an attorney to help minimize the negative effects on the children, bring families together when possible, and provide permanent, positive solutions. I find much satisfaction in my practice by being a part of an adoption.

Adoption is a noble call for a family. It provides stability and permanency for a child who often has experienced much turmoil in life at a young age. The family who adopts a child gives hope for a brighter future.

There are several types of adoptions such as agency adoptions (domestic and international), family and step-parent adoptions, and private adoptions.

Agency adoptions involve the use of an organization that matches families with children that are free for adoption. These agencies may be private agencies like Catholic Charities, or government agencies like the Missouri Department of Social Services, Children's Division. The children adopted using an agency may be placed for adoption by parents who feel they cannot care for the child or children removed from the home due to abuse or neglect. Families using agencies usually had no previous contact with the child

Family or step-parent adoptions involve children that already have a connection to the family. Grandparents or other relatives may adopt children when the parents are unable to care the children due to addictions, incarceration, or other circumstances. A step-parent may adopt his or her spouse's child or children when the other biological parent has abandoned the children or otherwise has chosen not to be involved anymore.

A private adoption is when a family finds a child through sources other than an agency or family connection. An example would be when a family knows of a pregnant teenager who does not want to keep the baby after birth. This type of adoption has the most legal risks and is highly scrutinized by the Courts. Some judges will not grant these types of adoptions unless an adoption agency becomes involved. Judges are hesitant to grant private adoptions because of the risk of the biological parents trying to take the children back later or the risk of illegally buying or selling a child. Anyone contemplating a private adoption should seek assistance from a lawyer experienced with these types of adoptions.

The costs of an adoption can vary greatly. Children adopted from government agencies may have no cost to the family; whereas, agencies often charge several thousand dollars.

Like most law firms, Bolander Law Office does not help a family find a child, although we can refer a family to others who do. We make sure all the legal work is done to complete the adoption process and obtain the approval of the Court ultimately providing the child with the opportunity to have the support of a loving family.

Estate Planning: Being Prepared for the Inevitable

No one likes to think about death, but it's a reality we all must face. Even though our death is an unpleasant topic, we must think about the impact it will have on our families and plan accordingly. We must ask ourselves some tough questions like, "Who will care for my children?" "Who will get my house, my life insurance, or retirement account?" or "Will my spouse have enough money to meet monthly expenses?" When these questions go unanswered, the consequences of an untimely death can be disastrous. Having a will or trust can help avoid these consequences.

Most people know that they should have a will or trust, but they put it off calling an estate planning lawyer far too long. What is keeping you from taking this important step? Your family is depending on you.

Once your estate plan is in place, you should have your will or trust reviewed every 5 years or when other significant events happen in your life such as a divorce, a death in the family, a significant change in income, or the birth of a child.

When you do call and visit an attorney, you should expect the process to be handled professionally and confidentially. You will need to provide the names, addresses, and birthdates of your family members and a list of assets with approximate values. Be prepared to discuss who you want your assets to go to and who should manage those assets in the meantime. It's also a good idea to have an alternate plan if the first should fail.

After gathering all the information, the lawyer will make a recommendation as to what documents fit your unique situation.

Nearly everyone needs a will. A will is the only legal way to name who you want to take care of your children.

Trusts are useful not only for people with a lot of money, but for families with children still at home. They provide a central place to manage the money and make sure the children's needs are being met.

A lawyer can also prepare a Health Care Directive, sometimes called a living will, to express your desires regarding medical decisions.

A Durable Power of Attorney can be drafted to determine who will make financial decisions on your behalf if you become incapacitated and unable to do so.

Don't put it off. Get your estate plan in place right away.

Bolander Law Office

The focus of my practice is helping families and children facing life's difficulties. It may be a divorce, a custody dispute, or a death in the family. I want to have a positive influence on those involved, especially the children. I strive to deliver legal services with skill, integrity, and dedication.